Everything happens for a reason. I have heard that stupid saying so many times in my life I sometimes want to grab the person saying it by the shoulders and shake them until I see some sense come into their eyes. “Why is this happening,” I would say as I shook them.
But seriously, I think many people ascribe everyday things to God’s will for their life and I maybe even believe that even if they found a salamander in their soup at an upscale restaurant they would say, well there’s a reason for everything.
We are not, nor is the life we live, on God’s marionette strings. We live in a fallen sinful world. Things happen, good things, bad things, everyday ordinary things just happen. I think that when things are good or uneventful, we live our life in our little zone and just carry on. It seems that only when adverse events happen that we fall back on the---well, everything happens for a reason---mantra.
When my alarm went off this morning just as it does every morning, I didn’t sigh and say, well, everything happens for a reason. I just got up, thanked God for the fact that I have a job, and went to work. When I had my Cheerios for breakfast I didn’t believe that I was having Cheerios, instead of Captain Crunch, for a reason. I was just eating.
Looking for the good in everything is wonderful counsel. Things can drag us down if we let them. We all know Romans 8:28, For we know that all things work together for good, to those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose. It doesn’t say, only good things will happen to those who love God. So, yes, the things that happen in our lives can work together for good, but that doesn’t mean that something was deliberately directed to happen by God in our lives. I believe it means that, Life is going to happen, good, bad, happy, sad, rich, poor, sickness, health, it just happens. Not for a reason. It just happens and God can use those events, whatever they may be, for good, if we let him. He wants to. Sometimes it’s hard to see that good in the midst of the challenge, but if we love God, he can and does use our life events for good. That’s the key. Love God and believe he can use those things. Not the other way around. Not believing that God made something happen for a reason and so we just accept it.
I don’t believe for one minute that the Lord pointed his all powerful finger at my wife and gave her cancer. I don’t believe he took her from me to teach me a lesson. I’ve said before that I believe disease, murder, child molesting, drugs, alcohol, and all those things are part of the fallen world we live in. I do believe that He can use my loss, and I can be used by Him, because of my loss, but only if I love God. Only if I believe that what has happened, just happened as part of life, and trust Him even when I can’t see Him using that.
I know that many were touched deeply by the way Karen lived her life as well as the way she lived, and passed away from her cancer. Trusting God, still believing in his faithfulness, and still living her faith. I also know that people have been watching me to see how I continue to live. It isn’t always easy, and I have failed in many ways, but I have never been angry with or blamed God. I still have my faith. I still believe he can use me in great ways if I let him.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Pride
Whenever I was away from the house for a bit and then came home, I always asked the kids if Ed McMahon had called when I was gone. Of course they always said no, and until I explained it to them one day, they never had a clue who Ed was or why he should call. They and their generation are way too young to have known Johnny Carson and Ed McMahon and the Tonight Show. They never really knew about his spokesman role for Publishers Clearing House and the prize patrol. Audrey sent me a text the day the news broke about Ed McMahon passing away. She said, well, he won’t be calling now for sure.
As I thought about this week’s topic, and how I was going to approach it, I started thinking about the role Ed played on the tonight show. I wondered how I could somehow use that in some kind of analogy of our lives as Christians. I know, I stretch the limits of my brain into often uncharted territory, but that’s me and how I do things.
Of course Mr. McMahon had his personal life, his hobbies, his goals, and his family, but on the Tonight show, his entire function and goal was to never draw attention to himself but to always make Johnny look good. He wasn’t to be in the spotlight, he was to always keep the audience and the focus on the Host. There was never room for personal pride or boasting as the sidekick. He introduced people to Johnny in his patent intro, Heeeerrrrrrrrrreesss Johnny! And then Carson ran the show.
Isn’t that what we should do as Christians, bring the attention of others to focus on the real leader? When people of our generation thought of Ed McMahon, they automatically thought of Johnny Carson. My point is, when people think of us, shouldn’t they automatically think of the Lord? Our lives should point them in that direction. Do people think of Christ, or what a Christian is, by our not taking pride in our selves but rather exuding who the Lord is in our lives?
1 John 2:16, For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world.
There is a Home Improvement chain here in the north that Mary and our California friends probably haven’t heard of, called Ziggys. They have a jingle in their advertisements on TV and Radio that is impossible to not sing along with when it comes on. You just do, you can’t help it. Ziggy’s Ya Ziggy’s. And how many of us have never emulated Mr. McMahon’s intro of Johnny. We just did, it was just one of those things.
Pride would be, drawing attention to ourselves and our deeds and thinking that it's all about us. We don’t have a jingle or catch phrase to introduce people to the Lord. What we have is our lives. We are the front man. Will people automatically think Christian, in a good way, by your introduction?
As I thought about this week’s topic, and how I was going to approach it, I started thinking about the role Ed played on the tonight show. I wondered how I could somehow use that in some kind of analogy of our lives as Christians. I know, I stretch the limits of my brain into often uncharted territory, but that’s me and how I do things.
Of course Mr. McMahon had his personal life, his hobbies, his goals, and his family, but on the Tonight show, his entire function and goal was to never draw attention to himself but to always make Johnny look good. He wasn’t to be in the spotlight, he was to always keep the audience and the focus on the Host. There was never room for personal pride or boasting as the sidekick. He introduced people to Johnny in his patent intro, Heeeerrrrrrrrrreesss Johnny! And then Carson ran the show.
Isn’t that what we should do as Christians, bring the attention of others to focus on the real leader? When people of our generation thought of Ed McMahon, they automatically thought of Johnny Carson. My point is, when people think of us, shouldn’t they automatically think of the Lord? Our lives should point them in that direction. Do people think of Christ, or what a Christian is, by our not taking pride in our selves but rather exuding who the Lord is in our lives?
1 John 2:16, For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world.
There is a Home Improvement chain here in the north that Mary and our California friends probably haven’t heard of, called Ziggys. They have a jingle in their advertisements on TV and Radio that is impossible to not sing along with when it comes on. You just do, you can’t help it. Ziggy’s Ya Ziggy’s. And how many of us have never emulated Mr. McMahon’s intro of Johnny. We just did, it was just one of those things.
Pride would be, drawing attention to ourselves and our deeds and thinking that it's all about us. We don’t have a jingle or catch phrase to introduce people to the Lord. What we have is our lives. We are the front man. Will people automatically think Christian, in a good way, by your introduction?
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Thoughts on Matthew 24
Like many people, I buy a lot of things on-line. I get books and music, and many other things. There is a hot sauce company in Arizona that, to me, makes the best hot sauce ever. I buy it by the case, usually twice a year. Sometimes though I purchase things that are more important both in cost and what they mean to me. All the major shippers now have on-line tracking. Once you place an order you are given a tracking number and all you have to do is log on and see where your package is every step of the way. Maybe it’s in St. Louis on Tuesday, and Denver on Wednesday and the scheduled delivery date to you is Friday. The thing is, all you have to do is look where you are told to look and interpret what they are telling you, and it’s easy to see what’s happening and what you can expect next.
In Matthew 24, the disciples are pressing Jesus to tell them how they will know when he will be returning and what they need to look for. He tells them many things and signs that will signal his coming. There has always been, and until his actual return, will always be much conjecture about the exact time of Christ’s return. Matt: 24:36 But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father alone.
We can’t know, but we can be ready. We have the Word and we have prayer and we can see the things happening in our world. We are charged with living our lives in certain ways. Pick up the Word, log on, and expect to be delivered on time, His time.
In Matthew 24, the disciples are pressing Jesus to tell them how they will know when he will be returning and what they need to look for. He tells them many things and signs that will signal his coming. There has always been, and until his actual return, will always be much conjecture about the exact time of Christ’s return. Matt: 24:36 But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father alone.
We can’t know, but we can be ready. We have the Word and we have prayer and we can see the things happening in our world. We are charged with living our lives in certain ways. Pick up the Word, log on, and expect to be delivered on time, His time.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Hold on to Your Dreams
Dreaming and setting goals is always laudable, it's always good to do. When I mentor the kids at the high school its one of the first things we talk about; goal setting and planning. We also talk about failing at our goals. So if there is a chance that we will fail, should we then not set the goal? Those who truly fail are the ones who never begin. So you fail, so what. Pick yourself up, set a new goal and keep going. The growth comes from the process, not the end result.
You can spend your whole life building
Something from nothing
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway
You can chase a dream that seems so out of reach
And you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway
God is great, but sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray..it don't always turn out like I think it should
I do it anyway, I do it anyway
You can love someone with all your heart, for all the right reasons
And in a moment they can choose to walk away
Love them anyway
You can pour your soul out singing a song you believe in
That tommorow they'll forget you ever sang
sing it anyway
I'll sing, I'll dream, I'll love
anyway
(from Martina Mcbride, anyway)
You can spend your whole life building
Something from nothing
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway
You can chase a dream that seems so out of reach
And you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway
God is great, but sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray..it don't always turn out like I think it should
I do it anyway, I do it anyway
You can love someone with all your heart, for all the right reasons
And in a moment they can choose to walk away
Love them anyway
You can pour your soul out singing a song you believe in
That tommorow they'll forget you ever sang
sing it anyway
I'll sing, I'll dream, I'll love
anyway
(from Martina Mcbride, anyway)
Saturday, June 6, 2009
How Do I Find Peace in My Life
The topic for this week asks the question; how do I find peace in my life? As I thought about this I began to ask myself; why don’t I have peace in my life in the first place? Why do I need to seek peace? I think that for the most part I get caught up in my own life, my own agenda, my own way, and forget to seek, or listen to the Lord.
Often, I have discovered that when I seek the Lord’s will and direction in my life, and spend time in prayer in that matter, He is faithful to give me that direction and his will. When I then know what it is I should be doing and choose another path I lose the peace that comes from being in the Lord’s will.
I’m not sure if what I am doing is placing the Lord in a superannuated position, acting as if He doesn’t know what’s best for me, or not, but it would seem that way. Only when I begin to follow the leading, and continue to seek Him and pray, do I then begin to experience that peace again.
It’s a thin line I walk many times. My humanness and sinful nature constantly battle for my will. It’s who we are as humans. We have to choose to find that peace, even when the easiest path serves our nature and is more appealing.
I struggle, I fail, I get back up again, I grow.
Often, I have discovered that when I seek the Lord’s will and direction in my life, and spend time in prayer in that matter, He is faithful to give me that direction and his will. When I then know what it is I should be doing and choose another path I lose the peace that comes from being in the Lord’s will.
I’m not sure if what I am doing is placing the Lord in a superannuated position, acting as if He doesn’t know what’s best for me, or not, but it would seem that way. Only when I begin to follow the leading, and continue to seek Him and pray, do I then begin to experience that peace again.
It’s a thin line I walk many times. My humanness and sinful nature constantly battle for my will. It’s who we are as humans. We have to choose to find that peace, even when the easiest path serves our nature and is more appealing.
I struggle, I fail, I get back up again, I grow.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Your Choice
It has been two years since I lost Karen and still, I struggle trying to find my direction in life. Some give me counsel to move on and others have told me that it takes one year of recovery for each five years you were together before you are ready to move on. That would make it a five year healing process.
Sometimes I have these flashes of inspiration and direction and I feel like I finally have it all figured out. Then after a few days and second guesses I have reverted back to uncertainty. Sometimes I think God is leading me in spirit and giving me clues to his will for my life, and then I think maybe God’s real message to me is, I’m not ready to make those decisions yet. I do think however, that one message is very clear and that is that I need to be in school. The how’s and where’s and what’s seem to be vague, but the drive of the spirit is very strong.
I know what I want to study, I know what I want to do with that degree, it’s the, if I may revert to a couple posts ago, stepping out of the plane that trips me up. Choosing to listen and obey.
I have faith that if I earnestly pray and seek the Lord then all these other answers will be revealed. Its interesting that in my quiet times this week I read about Abram, and God calling him to leave his ancestral homeland and move on to a new place. I don’t compare that of course to my particular place in life and don’t believe God is going to make a great nation of me by obeying. I just find myself thinking how very hard that must have been for Abram, stepping out into the unknown. Unknown land, unknown people, and unknown future except for the promise of God. He could have made a different choice but didn’t.
There are so many unknowns and fears in my life, so many choices to be made or avoided. My dearest friend champions me. She pushes me, questions me, gives me food to think on, and also respects my uncertainty and emotions. She has the answers to many questions that I haven’t even thought of. Mostly she keeps me tracking in the right direction. I believe God has placed her in my life for many reasons and He uses people like that in our lives to reveal Himself.
I have choices to make. Everyone does in some aspect of their own life.
Fruit
I just had to say that.
Its been an interesting and at times very emotional ride. It is what it is, and where it ends up has yet to be determined. Our life is all about choices isn’t it? Our whole life is about the choices we make. Good or bad, choices determine our direction and our future. What will mine be? What will yours be?
Sometimes I have these flashes of inspiration and direction and I feel like I finally have it all figured out. Then after a few days and second guesses I have reverted back to uncertainty. Sometimes I think God is leading me in spirit and giving me clues to his will for my life, and then I think maybe God’s real message to me is, I’m not ready to make those decisions yet. I do think however, that one message is very clear and that is that I need to be in school. The how’s and where’s and what’s seem to be vague, but the drive of the spirit is very strong.
I know what I want to study, I know what I want to do with that degree, it’s the, if I may revert to a couple posts ago, stepping out of the plane that trips me up. Choosing to listen and obey.
I have faith that if I earnestly pray and seek the Lord then all these other answers will be revealed. Its interesting that in my quiet times this week I read about Abram, and God calling him to leave his ancestral homeland and move on to a new place. I don’t compare that of course to my particular place in life and don’t believe God is going to make a great nation of me by obeying. I just find myself thinking how very hard that must have been for Abram, stepping out into the unknown. Unknown land, unknown people, and unknown future except for the promise of God. He could have made a different choice but didn’t.
There are so many unknowns and fears in my life, so many choices to be made or avoided. My dearest friend champions me. She pushes me, questions me, gives me food to think on, and also respects my uncertainty and emotions. She has the answers to many questions that I haven’t even thought of. Mostly she keeps me tracking in the right direction. I believe God has placed her in my life for many reasons and He uses people like that in our lives to reveal Himself.
I have choices to make. Everyone does in some aspect of their own life.
Fruit
I just had to say that.
Its been an interesting and at times very emotional ride. It is what it is, and where it ends up has yet to be determined. Our life is all about choices isn’t it? Our whole life is about the choices we make. Good or bad, choices determine our direction and our future. What will mine be? What will yours be?
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Trust
Matthew 6:26, Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than that?
Many times during the course of Karen’s illness I worried about all the medical bills, losing Karen’s upholstery business and that income, the work I was missing, and many other things. Also during that first year, Audrey was trying to make college decisions and I was sick with worry about how in the world we were going to pay for that.
Karen wasn’t well enough to make those University visits during Audrey’s senior year of high school and so Audrey and I did them by ourselves. The money always seemed to somehow be available for the medical, and the other things but I had no idea how we were going to fund college.
As we made those visits and asked those questions and prayed it seemed that the answer kept coming back to Eastern Washington University. It just seemed so clear to both of us that this was where God wanted her to be. I didn’t have enough money to fund an in-state education, let alone an out of state university. I must be reading God wrong I deduced. That can’t possibly be where Audrey is supposed to go.
One day at work, all day my spririt was so troubled and I was praying and questioning and crying and praying some more. I will never ever forget in my life that afternoon when I came home from work. I called Audrey and Karen into the dining room and with tears in my eyes I said. I don’t know how we are going to pay for it. I don’t know the answer. People may think I am a flake and out of my mind. I don’t know anything except that somehow, by faith, Audrey, you are supposed to go to Eastern. We both knew that but couldn’t get our minds to grasp what our hearts knew.
On that day when the decision was made, I could literally see a black cloud lift from that dining room, and our house and our hearts. Things started to happen and in some of the most incredible ways, God provided again and again and again and it really was the right school and it has been evidenced in many ways and many times.
Why do I not trust sometimes when I know what the answer is. It’s a struggle I deal with many times.
For the last several years there have been several nesting pairs of geese just up the river in a field each spring. When they begin to nest, the adults come down each day and walk up the beach and poop in the yard. It’s early in the year and I always just figured they were fertilizing the grass down by the beach so I never really cared. I watched them a lot one year and I noticed that in a few weeks, after the chicks had hatched, the adults bring them down the river and up on to the yard. Usually there are 20-30 chicks depending on the year. It occurred to me as I watched them that where the adults had been pooping for a few weeks, there were now bugs for the young to eat. It’s so incredible to think that there was a plan and a purpose all along. I saw poop, God saw a plan, even for the birds of the air. I’ve had those hard days and scary days and times of worrying when all I could see was poop. I just need to assure myself, as do you, that we need to trust God and his awesome plan. Even when we can’t see it, we have to know that it is there.
Many times during the course of Karen’s illness I worried about all the medical bills, losing Karen’s upholstery business and that income, the work I was missing, and many other things. Also during that first year, Audrey was trying to make college decisions and I was sick with worry about how in the world we were going to pay for that.
Karen wasn’t well enough to make those University visits during Audrey’s senior year of high school and so Audrey and I did them by ourselves. The money always seemed to somehow be available for the medical, and the other things but I had no idea how we were going to fund college.
As we made those visits and asked those questions and prayed it seemed that the answer kept coming back to Eastern Washington University. It just seemed so clear to both of us that this was where God wanted her to be. I didn’t have enough money to fund an in-state education, let alone an out of state university. I must be reading God wrong I deduced. That can’t possibly be where Audrey is supposed to go.
One day at work, all day my spririt was so troubled and I was praying and questioning and crying and praying some more. I will never ever forget in my life that afternoon when I came home from work. I called Audrey and Karen into the dining room and with tears in my eyes I said. I don’t know how we are going to pay for it. I don’t know the answer. People may think I am a flake and out of my mind. I don’t know anything except that somehow, by faith, Audrey, you are supposed to go to Eastern. We both knew that but couldn’t get our minds to grasp what our hearts knew.
On that day when the decision was made, I could literally see a black cloud lift from that dining room, and our house and our hearts. Things started to happen and in some of the most incredible ways, God provided again and again and again and it really was the right school and it has been evidenced in many ways and many times.
Why do I not trust sometimes when I know what the answer is. It’s a struggle I deal with many times.
For the last several years there have been several nesting pairs of geese just up the river in a field each spring. When they begin to nest, the adults come down each day and walk up the beach and poop in the yard. It’s early in the year and I always just figured they were fertilizing the grass down by the beach so I never really cared. I watched them a lot one year and I noticed that in a few weeks, after the chicks had hatched, the adults bring them down the river and up on to the yard. Usually there are 20-30 chicks depending on the year. It occurred to me as I watched them that where the adults had been pooping for a few weeks, there were now bugs for the young to eat. It’s so incredible to think that there was a plan and a purpose all along. I saw poop, God saw a plan, even for the birds of the air. I’ve had those hard days and scary days and times of worrying when all I could see was poop. I just need to assure myself, as do you, that we need to trust God and his awesome plan. Even when we can’t see it, we have to know that it is there.
Friday, May 8, 2009
She spent her whole life looking out the window
If you want to sky-dive, there are certain things you have to do. I know this because my son and I are making those plans. We have been dreaming of this for a couple of years but, Life, happens and we have had to postpone a few times.
One of the first things you must do is find someone to help make that possible. There are many businesses that specialize in this around the country. We’ve picked one, now we just have to arrange our schedules to accommodate our plans. You have to go early on the day of the jump because they require some ground training. You can’t just go up in someone’s plane and jump out. I suppose you could but that probably wouldn’t end well. You’re also not allowed to solo free-fall on your first experience. They kind of want to ensure you won’t freeze up once you get out of the plane and forget to open your chute. That wouldn’t end well either. So, you have to either, Static-line jump, or tandem jump with an experienced sky-diver. A static line is a device that hooks on to the plane and automatically open you chute when you exit the plane. A tandem jump means you are coupled into a harness with the experienced diver and he, or she, controls the fall and the opening of the chute.
In the ground school you also learn about the chute and the folding. You learn about the proper technique for landing so you don’t break your legs. You learn about the reserve chute. You learn all about sky-diving before you actually do it. That’s probably a good thing.
You can have all this head knowledge. You can know exactly what to do and how and when to do it. You can put the chute on. You can get in the plane, and they can open the door at altitude, but it all means nothing until you are willing to step out of the plane. If you are scared you may have surrounded yourself with this miasma of fear. You have to have the faith to go.
Our lives are like that in many ways sometimes. The Holy Spirit guides us and prompts us. The Lord tries leading us in a new direction. We have the knowledge, we know what we are supposed to be doing and yet we fail to act, or move. We could spend our whole lives looking out the window and missing the exhilaration, the rush of air, and the blessings the unknown and the obedience can bring.
In some areas of my life I have this prompting, this leading, this urging that I know is the Lord prompting me. I’m afraid to make that leap of faith. It’s going to completely change my life if I do it. But the, what ifs, and the uncertainty keep me in the plane. How would my finances fare under this new plan? What about this, what about that? It’s a nice view from the window of the plane. I know what I need to know. I went up in the plane. Isn’t that enough?
I’m harnessed to the Lord. Are you? I know it will be ok. I don’t want to spend my whole life looking out the window. I want what God wants. I have to take the biggest leap of faith I have ever taken. I’m scared. What a rush.
One of the first things you must do is find someone to help make that possible. There are many businesses that specialize in this around the country. We’ve picked one, now we just have to arrange our schedules to accommodate our plans. You have to go early on the day of the jump because they require some ground training. You can’t just go up in someone’s plane and jump out. I suppose you could but that probably wouldn’t end well. You’re also not allowed to solo free-fall on your first experience. They kind of want to ensure you won’t freeze up once you get out of the plane and forget to open your chute. That wouldn’t end well either. So, you have to either, Static-line jump, or tandem jump with an experienced sky-diver. A static line is a device that hooks on to the plane and automatically open you chute when you exit the plane. A tandem jump means you are coupled into a harness with the experienced diver and he, or she, controls the fall and the opening of the chute.
In the ground school you also learn about the chute and the folding. You learn about the proper technique for landing so you don’t break your legs. You learn about the reserve chute. You learn all about sky-diving before you actually do it. That’s probably a good thing.
You can have all this head knowledge. You can know exactly what to do and how and when to do it. You can put the chute on. You can get in the plane, and they can open the door at altitude, but it all means nothing until you are willing to step out of the plane. If you are scared you may have surrounded yourself with this miasma of fear. You have to have the faith to go.
Our lives are like that in many ways sometimes. The Holy Spirit guides us and prompts us. The Lord tries leading us in a new direction. We have the knowledge, we know what we are supposed to be doing and yet we fail to act, or move. We could spend our whole lives looking out the window and missing the exhilaration, the rush of air, and the blessings the unknown and the obedience can bring.
In some areas of my life I have this prompting, this leading, this urging that I know is the Lord prompting me. I’m afraid to make that leap of faith. It’s going to completely change my life if I do it. But the, what ifs, and the uncertainty keep me in the plane. How would my finances fare under this new plan? What about this, what about that? It’s a nice view from the window of the plane. I know what I need to know. I went up in the plane. Isn’t that enough?
I’m harnessed to the Lord. Are you? I know it will be ok. I don’t want to spend my whole life looking out the window. I want what God wants. I have to take the biggest leap of faith I have ever taken. I’m scared. What a rush.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Monday Morning Blues
For some reason I hardly ever sleep on Sunday nights. I have never figured out why. I toss and turn and get up and go back to bed. I read, listen to music, and think, sometimes too much. So much futility usually causes me to get up at least an hour before I really need to on Monday morning. It’s not that I dislike my job. I’m not stressed about going to work on Monday morning. I just don’t sleep on Sunday nights. I know many people have the Monday morning blues. The weekend is over and it’s back to the grindstone for another week.
I think I have always been thankful for my job and employer. I am a hard, reliable worker. I think I got that work ethic from my dad. Despite our differences and other issues he was a hard working man. I’ve always felt that if your going to work for someone, then give them your all. I see that work ethic in both of my kids. They are dependable, hard working people.
At the same time my employer has been very good to me. They have bent over backwards to accommodate many of the things I have been involved in, from the time I spend at the schools to working with my schedule when I coached the high school girls soccer team. When Karen was sick and going through the many courses of treatments there was never and issue or question about being away whenever I needed to.
These days, with the sour economy and so many people out of work or working reduced hours, I can’t help but be thankful, even on a Monday morning, for having a good job.
Yes, I worked some weeks with reduced hours, but they kept us working and our insurance and benefits intact. That insurance, during Karen’s illness was an incredible blessing
Put yourself in my shoes. I don’t have a college degree, I went to work there when I turned 18, and I make a very, very good living and very good benefits. Through this whole downturn I have drawn one unemployment check for my entire life. Both my kids have gone to college and are doing well. I have a house and many great friends. I can get blue sometimes over other things but it’s pretty hard to get the Monday morning blues over work.
In all things, give thanks.
I think I have always been thankful for my job and employer. I am a hard, reliable worker. I think I got that work ethic from my dad. Despite our differences and other issues he was a hard working man. I’ve always felt that if your going to work for someone, then give them your all. I see that work ethic in both of my kids. They are dependable, hard working people.
At the same time my employer has been very good to me. They have bent over backwards to accommodate many of the things I have been involved in, from the time I spend at the schools to working with my schedule when I coached the high school girls soccer team. When Karen was sick and going through the many courses of treatments there was never and issue or question about being away whenever I needed to.
These days, with the sour economy and so many people out of work or working reduced hours, I can’t help but be thankful, even on a Monday morning, for having a good job.
Yes, I worked some weeks with reduced hours, but they kept us working and our insurance and benefits intact. That insurance, during Karen’s illness was an incredible blessing
Put yourself in my shoes. I don’t have a college degree, I went to work there when I turned 18, and I make a very, very good living and very good benefits. Through this whole downturn I have drawn one unemployment check for my entire life. Both my kids have gone to college and are doing well. I have a house and many great friends. I can get blue sometimes over other things but it’s pretty hard to get the Monday morning blues over work.
In all things, give thanks.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Chocolate Chip Cookies
Just the other night I was at a neighbor’s home enjoying their company and a nice dinner. As we finished eating, the lady of the house mixed up a batch of chocolate chip cookies and placed the first bunch in the oven. We sat at stools around the kitchen counter and talked and as the cookies began to get done, the aroma filled the kitchen and made our mouths water in anticipation. Fresh, hot cookies right out of the oven can hardly be beat.
There’s something about those kinds of things like cookies and homemade bread and a favorite recipe, that as they cook and you can smell the delicious aroma, you just know it’s going to be good. We move a little closer in preparation for the moment when our taste buds will be rewarded.
In the big Malls, the food vendors know of the draw the aroma their wares can have and try to position their stores, and the fans they use, to maximize the advantage. I think we instinctively know when something is going to be good and we seek it out.
A couple weeks ago, when I got up at 3am, there was a full moon and it was in the part of its lunar phase that it was just going down about then. I have a big window in my bedroom and it looks out over the back yard and the river. The moon was so big and so bright and it was just setting in the West right over the river. It was one of the most awesome pictures I have seen in some time.
There are other times in the early morning that I get to see some of the wonder of God’s creation that just leaves me breathless. The Northern Lights come to mind, and though we don’t get to see them much in this part of the country, when they do appear it is an incredible thing to witness. Maybe it’s a clear night with a billion stars all around or a fresh fallen snow with not a track in it yet. Sometimes I can get so overwhelmed with the scope and depth of this incredible world that I lose my equilibrium and my thoughts spin in wonder.
God’s creation is so amazing, I think of the Grand Canyon or the view from a remote mountain top. I think of the wild flowers that grow in the spring and the primrose that bloom in early summer. The bugle of a big bull Elk in fall, or the rush of streams in the spring. Watching an eagle dive in to the river and come up with a big fish is a sight to behold. Even a raging thunder storm can leave one in awe of the power of God.
As I thought of the cookies, and then all these other things, I began to think that maybe, just maybe, what we really have when we experience the beauty and incredible wonder of our Lord’s creation could really be like this delicious aroma for our souls. We instinctively try to draw a little closer. We scoot up a little nearer. I think God’s heaven is going to be so incredible. These creation experiences are just the Lord positioning his fans so the aroma of heaven tantalizes us. I can’t wait to sit at that table.
There’s something about those kinds of things like cookies and homemade bread and a favorite recipe, that as they cook and you can smell the delicious aroma, you just know it’s going to be good. We move a little closer in preparation for the moment when our taste buds will be rewarded.
In the big Malls, the food vendors know of the draw the aroma their wares can have and try to position their stores, and the fans they use, to maximize the advantage. I think we instinctively know when something is going to be good and we seek it out.
A couple weeks ago, when I got up at 3am, there was a full moon and it was in the part of its lunar phase that it was just going down about then. I have a big window in my bedroom and it looks out over the back yard and the river. The moon was so big and so bright and it was just setting in the West right over the river. It was one of the most awesome pictures I have seen in some time.
There are other times in the early morning that I get to see some of the wonder of God’s creation that just leaves me breathless. The Northern Lights come to mind, and though we don’t get to see them much in this part of the country, when they do appear it is an incredible thing to witness. Maybe it’s a clear night with a billion stars all around or a fresh fallen snow with not a track in it yet. Sometimes I can get so overwhelmed with the scope and depth of this incredible world that I lose my equilibrium and my thoughts spin in wonder.
God’s creation is so amazing, I think of the Grand Canyon or the view from a remote mountain top. I think of the wild flowers that grow in the spring and the primrose that bloom in early summer. The bugle of a big bull Elk in fall, or the rush of streams in the spring. Watching an eagle dive in to the river and come up with a big fish is a sight to behold. Even a raging thunder storm can leave one in awe of the power of God.
As I thought of the cookies, and then all these other things, I began to think that maybe, just maybe, what we really have when we experience the beauty and incredible wonder of our Lord’s creation could really be like this delicious aroma for our souls. We instinctively try to draw a little closer. We scoot up a little nearer. I think God’s heaven is going to be so incredible. These creation experiences are just the Lord positioning his fans so the aroma of heaven tantalizes us. I can’t wait to sit at that table.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Which Direction?
Grownups always ask kids what they want to be when they grow up. Schools have career days where different adults in different professions come in to the schools and share about their business or job. I think that very few kids at that age can actually state with certainty their life career choice, in fact, many young adults in college change their major’s at least once or even many times. And what about the directions our lives take apart from the way we earn our living? Do we get to choose those directions?
When Karen and I were engaged and planning our lives together we both had ideas of how things would go. Both of our children were planned, our house, our church, our future plans. Audrey is deathly afraid of spiders. We didn’t plan that. Some people have coulrophobia, fear of clowns. When Karen got cancer our whole world was turned upside down. No one would ever plan that. You wouldn’t plan on losing your business or mounting up bills and medical expenses. You wouldn’t plan on going Home at an early age. So who planned that? God? Anyone at all?
I don’t believe God causes all the little details of our lives to happen. I don’t believe God points out certain people and directs that this one or that one will get cancer or have a fatal car wreck. I don’t believe the Lord causes some wives to be beaten or some children to be abducted or sexually abused. I believe the sinful world we live in as a result of fallen man is the catalyst for much of the despair and disease we see.
After losing Karen there were many dark, lonely times, and still are on occasion. What am I going to do now? How am I going to survive? How can I function? Can God even use me anymore?
I may have talked of this analogy before but sometimes when driving East from here, I cross the continental divide. One time, when I got to the top of the divide, it was raining very hard. I pulled over and just sat quietly for a few minutes, mostly because I’m a poet and I love those quiet, solitude, kinds of moments to think and reflect. It occurred to me as I sat there that all of our storms form out in the Pacific Ocean and travel from West to East. The rain falls where it may, and as I sat there it occurred to me that the rain that was falling on the West side of the divide, from where I sat, would begin the journey down the creeks and rivers and eventually end up in the Columbia river system and back to the Pacific. The rain that fell just a few feet to the East would begin its journey down the Missouri, and Mississippi river systems and eventually end up in the Gulf of Mexico. The thing is, the rain didn’t get to decide which side of the divide it fell on.
Sometimes the storms in our lives take us places we never intended to go. We don’t always get to choose which side of the ‘divide’ we land on. I know this with all certainty, Romans 8:28 All things work together for good, to those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose.
Its ok to have goals and plans. Its ok to seek to better ourselves and our families. Just remember we are going to have storms. We are sometimes going to end up in places that we never intended. We may think we lost our direction, but if we seek the Lord and believe that all situations can work for good, we can go forward.
When Karen and I were engaged and planning our lives together we both had ideas of how things would go. Both of our children were planned, our house, our church, our future plans. Audrey is deathly afraid of spiders. We didn’t plan that. Some people have coulrophobia, fear of clowns. When Karen got cancer our whole world was turned upside down. No one would ever plan that. You wouldn’t plan on losing your business or mounting up bills and medical expenses. You wouldn’t plan on going Home at an early age. So who planned that? God? Anyone at all?
I don’t believe God causes all the little details of our lives to happen. I don’t believe God points out certain people and directs that this one or that one will get cancer or have a fatal car wreck. I don’t believe the Lord causes some wives to be beaten or some children to be abducted or sexually abused. I believe the sinful world we live in as a result of fallen man is the catalyst for much of the despair and disease we see.
After losing Karen there were many dark, lonely times, and still are on occasion. What am I going to do now? How am I going to survive? How can I function? Can God even use me anymore?
I may have talked of this analogy before but sometimes when driving East from here, I cross the continental divide. One time, when I got to the top of the divide, it was raining very hard. I pulled over and just sat quietly for a few minutes, mostly because I’m a poet and I love those quiet, solitude, kinds of moments to think and reflect. It occurred to me as I sat there that all of our storms form out in the Pacific Ocean and travel from West to East. The rain falls where it may, and as I sat there it occurred to me that the rain that was falling on the West side of the divide, from where I sat, would begin the journey down the creeks and rivers and eventually end up in the Columbia river system and back to the Pacific. The rain that fell just a few feet to the East would begin its journey down the Missouri, and Mississippi river systems and eventually end up in the Gulf of Mexico. The thing is, the rain didn’t get to decide which side of the divide it fell on.
Sometimes the storms in our lives take us places we never intended to go. We don’t always get to choose which side of the ‘divide’ we land on. I know this with all certainty, Romans 8:28 All things work together for good, to those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose.
Its ok to have goals and plans. Its ok to seek to better ourselves and our families. Just remember we are going to have storms. We are sometimes going to end up in places that we never intended. We may think we lost our direction, but if we seek the Lord and believe that all situations can work for good, we can go forward.
Friday, April 10, 2009
How do I forgive
Last week, somewhere near Seattle, a father killed his five children and then himself. I think the children ranged in aged from 15 down to 3. He was apparently in some sort of insane rage over finding his wife with another man whom she told him she was leaving for. In the aftermath, the woman said that she had not entered into a sexual relationship with this other man to that point. Her marriage was obviously in turmoil and she felt it best to extricate herself from it. Of course her husband is now dead but would it be possible for her to ever forgive him for what he did to her children. How could she ever come to that point? I don’t know if she is a Christian. I don’t know if forgiveness is in her vocabulary. Are we, as humans, capable of forgiveness to that extent?
I see a woman here in my local community who seems to have a perpetual black eye. Every two or three months I see her, usually at the grocery store, and it appears that she has a fresh set of bruises on her face. It tears at my soul to see that and I know there are many studies and things showing why some women in these abusive relationships stay in them. That seems to be a different type of hurt-forgiveness cycle.
I am not sure if we, as humans, have the capacity for total forgiveness and absolution for the wrongs against us. Our heavenly father required a sacrifice for the forgiveness of sins and we celebrate that very, final, sacrifice this week, culminating with the celebration of the resurrection of our Lord.
Yes, we are made in the image of our Lord and maybe at some point in our maturity as Christians, we could reach a point of being able to totally forgive and forget. I don’t think I have reached that point yet. I have this cycle of growth and strength in my Christian walk where it seems I am stripped bare and that’s when I have the most growth, when I am left to realize how fragile I am. Like the Tamarack tree which seems at first glance, to be similar to all the other evergreen trees in the forest, but each fall it turns a bright yellow and then all the needles fall off and it’s left there seemingly bare. But it is one of the strongest trees in the forest. It will re-grow its needles, and add a growth ring to it trunk. It will continue to grow.
Maybe the Christians among us are like that. Seemingly, like all the rest of humanity around us, we then turn a different color from time to time and are left bare. Then we add a growth ring and are strengthened.
When I have trouble forgiving someone I find that the only, and best, thing I can do is to pray for that person. I have to take my eyes off them and off myself and the perceived wrong that’s been done, and place that person in the eyes of the Lord.
Whenever someone who I have had issues with in the past comes to the Lord, I sometimes jokingly say, Darn, I was really counting on hell-fire and damnation for that person. But seriously, that’s always a cause for praise. Praying for the person who we feel wronged us is so calming and healing that to not do that prevents us from growth. We can’t make a decision for Christ, for that person but we can find peace in our lives by praying for them.
I see a woman here in my local community who seems to have a perpetual black eye. Every two or three months I see her, usually at the grocery store, and it appears that she has a fresh set of bruises on her face. It tears at my soul to see that and I know there are many studies and things showing why some women in these abusive relationships stay in them. That seems to be a different type of hurt-forgiveness cycle.
I am not sure if we, as humans, have the capacity for total forgiveness and absolution for the wrongs against us. Our heavenly father required a sacrifice for the forgiveness of sins and we celebrate that very, final, sacrifice this week, culminating with the celebration of the resurrection of our Lord.
Yes, we are made in the image of our Lord and maybe at some point in our maturity as Christians, we could reach a point of being able to totally forgive and forget. I don’t think I have reached that point yet. I have this cycle of growth and strength in my Christian walk where it seems I am stripped bare and that’s when I have the most growth, when I am left to realize how fragile I am. Like the Tamarack tree which seems at first glance, to be similar to all the other evergreen trees in the forest, but each fall it turns a bright yellow and then all the needles fall off and it’s left there seemingly bare. But it is one of the strongest trees in the forest. It will re-grow its needles, and add a growth ring to it trunk. It will continue to grow.
Maybe the Christians among us are like that. Seemingly, like all the rest of humanity around us, we then turn a different color from time to time and are left bare. Then we add a growth ring and are strengthened.
When I have trouble forgiving someone I find that the only, and best, thing I can do is to pray for that person. I have to take my eyes off them and off myself and the perceived wrong that’s been done, and place that person in the eyes of the Lord.
Whenever someone who I have had issues with in the past comes to the Lord, I sometimes jokingly say, Darn, I was really counting on hell-fire and damnation for that person. But seriously, that’s always a cause for praise. Praying for the person who we feel wronged us is so calming and healing that to not do that prevents us from growth. We can’t make a decision for Christ, for that person but we can find peace in our lives by praying for them.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Physician Assisted Suicide
Many states have enacted or are in the process of enacting Death With Dignity laws, or, Physician Assisted Suicide by another name. I honestly can’t decide how I feel about this. My wife battled her cancer through four years of treatments, surgeries, chemo, radiation and countless tests and procedures. In the end, none of it mattered and her last days were lived with much pain. I ask myself, would she have chosen to end her life early if given the option, rather than go through such suffering in those last days? I, in my heart, know absolutely that the answer is no. Karen knew where she was going, she was secure in her faith and her salvation and still she wanted to be with her family and the ones she loved for every last available moment.
Maybe love has something to do with it. She was so loved and loved so many, that is what made hanging on to the end possible to bear. I cant and won’t speak, nor judge another in this matter. Motives could be countless. Maybe someone doesn’t really have that love, or close family at hand. Maybe they don’t want to put their family through what those days can bring. Maybe they just don’t want to suffer. I don’t know
I wonder about physicians who opt to assist these people in their wishes. That must be a hard choice to make. I can’t imagine. I also wonder about the long term repercussions about laws like this. Could they be gateways to other forms of euthanasia at some point? I mean, if a practice like this becomes acceptable and status quo to the masses, then at some point, with rising health care costs and other social woes, does it then become palatable to consider Assisting the mentally or physically unfirm to end their days? Then when our aging population becomes a burden do we begin to consider that maybe a certain age is a point where a person becomes expendable for the common good of society? I shudder to think.
I have sought the Lord in this. I have prayed deeply and meditated. I don’t have a solid, steadfast answer. What I do know is this. It’s important for every last person to know who Jesus is before their day comes. I don’t want anyone to go to the graveyard without that
I know this also. On that day for Karen, she was at home where she wanted to be, and where she should have been. She was surrounded by many. I held her as she went to be with the Lord. There were twelve of us here at that moment and to a person, every last one of us, knew beyond a doubt that the Lord had been in our midst. On the absolute very worst day in my life, the day I lost the love of my life, we were all of us praising God and singing. I now understand what it means to be in heaven and have no more pain, no more suffering, no more tears. I received just a glimpse that day. I kind of felt like Moses when the Lord told him to hide himself in the cleft of the rock and he would pass by. God passed by that day, that was my assurance. When you are in the presence of the Lord, You cannot help but praise him. The heavenly host was here that day. Karen was carried home in the arms of the Lord. That, my friends, is death with dignity.
march on
Many states have enacted or are in the process of enacting Death With Dignity laws, or, Physician Assisted Suicide by another name. I honestly can’t decide how I feel about this. My wife battled her cancer through four years of treatments, surgeries, chemo, radiation and countless tests and procedures. In the end, none of it mattered and her last days were lived with much pain. I ask myself, would she have chosen to end her life early if given the option, rather than go through such suffering in those last days? I, in my heart, know absolutely that the answer is no. Karen knew where she was going, she was secure in her faith and her salvation and still she wanted to be with her family and the ones she loved for every last available moment.
Maybe love has something to do with it. She was so loved and loved so many, that is what made hanging on to the end possible to bear. I cant and won’t speak, nor judge another in this matter. Motives could be countless. Maybe someone doesn’t really have that love, or close family at hand. Maybe they don’t want to put their family through what those days can bring. Maybe they just don’t want to suffer. I don’t know
I wonder about physicians who opt to assist these people in their wishes. That must be a hard choice to make. I can’t imagine. I also wonder about the long term repercussions about laws like this. Could they be gateways to other forms of euthanasia at some point? I mean, if a practice like this becomes acceptable and status quo to the masses, then at some point, with rising health care costs and other social woes, does it then become palatable to consider Assisting the mentally or physically unfirm to end their days? Then when our aging population becomes a burden do we begin to consider that maybe a certain age is a point where a person becomes expendable for the common good of society? I shudder to think.
I have sought the Lord in this. I have prayed deeply and meditated. I don’t have a solid, steadfast answer. What I do know is this. It’s important for every last person to know who Jesus is before their day comes. I don’t want anyone to go to the graveyard without that
I know this also. On that day for Karen, she was at home where she wanted to be, and where she should have been. She was surrounded by many. I held her as she went to be with the Lord. There were twelve of us here at that moment and to a person, every last one of us, knew beyond a doubt that the Lord had been in our midst. On the absolute very worst day in my life, the day I lost the love of my life, we were all of us praising God and singing. I now understand what it means to be in heaven and have no more pain, no more suffering, no more tears. I received just a glimpse that day. I kind of felt like Moses when the Lord told him to hide himself in the cleft of the rock and he would pass by. God passed by that day, that was my assurance. When you are in the presence of the Lord, You cannot help but praise him. The heavenly host was here that day. Karen was carried home in the arms of the Lord. That, my friends, is death with dignity.
march on
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Sin is Sin, is Sin, is Sin
About five years ago I was in a men’s bible study group. There were 7 of us and we met weekly. One night one member of our group came and had a confession for us. It seems he had been arrested that day and charged with sexually abusing his step-daughter. He had been released on bail and had a restraining order against him to keep him away from his step-daughter, wife, and his home. I wasn’t exactly sure why he came to group that night, maybe he was looking for sympathy or something. I don’t think he got what he expected.
The abuse had apparently been going on for a period of years. The girl was, at that time, 11 years old. She had told a friend at school and that friend had told a parent who had in turn, told the school.
I was beside myself with anger and rage. I have spent my whole entire adult life working with kids. This was an affront to everything I lived for. This man admitted his guilt and wanted us to consider a character reference for him during his pre-sentence investigation. I said to him, ‘you want me to give you a character reference based on what, the fact that you have been coming to this group for two years and basically lying to us?” I said, I like you, I do, but I can’t abide this. My whole life is working with kids. Is that why you befriended me, so you could be closer to the kids I work with?
It turned out that he had previously been convicted in another state of the same thing, during a different marriage, with adopted twin daughters. Somehow he had been able to hide that from his new wife. I don’t know how. It was very evident that he was a sociopath and manipulator. He is currently serving time in the state prison system.
Over the next days and weeks I was convicted by the spirit over my feelings toward this. Not that I was supposed to embrace this man and all of us live happily ever after, but I was convicted by the realization that Sin is Sin in the eyes of God.
But for the grace of God, there go I. Man ranks sin. We give it points I guess based on what the sin is. Murder, rape, child molesting, get big scores. Maybe robbery and arson get another set of points. Then there is lying, and infidelity, and drug dealing and those things which, according to man’s standards, are lesser sins.
Of course we, in our human state of things, shouldn’t throw the shoplifter in the same prison cell and for the same time as the child molester. I don’t suggest that at all. My point is, To God, un-repented, un-forgiven by the grace of Jesus Christ, sin, is still sin. I don’t think the Lord has a point system for sin and that was what I was being convicted of by the spirit. I needed to not focus on the molester, he would face his punishment. I needed to focus on my life and examine some sin there that needed just as much grace.
If a renegade pilot of a hijacked plane crashes into a building and kills hundreds, and the pilot of a single engine plane deliberately crashes into his ex-wife’s home and kills her, under grace, and the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, both of those people can come to saving knowledge of Christ and be eternally saved. They would have both needed to have made that personal decision but could have both been washed in the blood and forgiven.
That was the hard concept for me and the reason for my struggle. I am a sinner. Without question, I am a sinner. Man must, under mans law, and to paraphrase, Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s. But we must also, the molester, the murderer, the liar, the thief, come to saving grace the same way and at the same price, Free, through the gift of our savior.
Christ died for me. I’m didn’t earn it. I can’t pay for it. I don’t deserve it, but there he is, before the father, giving my character reference.
Amen
The abuse had apparently been going on for a period of years. The girl was, at that time, 11 years old. She had told a friend at school and that friend had told a parent who had in turn, told the school.
I was beside myself with anger and rage. I have spent my whole entire adult life working with kids. This was an affront to everything I lived for. This man admitted his guilt and wanted us to consider a character reference for him during his pre-sentence investigation. I said to him, ‘you want me to give you a character reference based on what, the fact that you have been coming to this group for two years and basically lying to us?” I said, I like you, I do, but I can’t abide this. My whole life is working with kids. Is that why you befriended me, so you could be closer to the kids I work with?
It turned out that he had previously been convicted in another state of the same thing, during a different marriage, with adopted twin daughters. Somehow he had been able to hide that from his new wife. I don’t know how. It was very evident that he was a sociopath and manipulator. He is currently serving time in the state prison system.
Over the next days and weeks I was convicted by the spirit over my feelings toward this. Not that I was supposed to embrace this man and all of us live happily ever after, but I was convicted by the realization that Sin is Sin in the eyes of God.
But for the grace of God, there go I. Man ranks sin. We give it points I guess based on what the sin is. Murder, rape, child molesting, get big scores. Maybe robbery and arson get another set of points. Then there is lying, and infidelity, and drug dealing and those things which, according to man’s standards, are lesser sins.
Of course we, in our human state of things, shouldn’t throw the shoplifter in the same prison cell and for the same time as the child molester. I don’t suggest that at all. My point is, To God, un-repented, un-forgiven by the grace of Jesus Christ, sin, is still sin. I don’t think the Lord has a point system for sin and that was what I was being convicted of by the spirit. I needed to not focus on the molester, he would face his punishment. I needed to focus on my life and examine some sin there that needed just as much grace.
If a renegade pilot of a hijacked plane crashes into a building and kills hundreds, and the pilot of a single engine plane deliberately crashes into his ex-wife’s home and kills her, under grace, and the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, both of those people can come to saving knowledge of Christ and be eternally saved. They would have both needed to have made that personal decision but could have both been washed in the blood and forgiven.
That was the hard concept for me and the reason for my struggle. I am a sinner. Without question, I am a sinner. Man must, under mans law, and to paraphrase, Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s. But we must also, the molester, the murderer, the liar, the thief, come to saving grace the same way and at the same price, Free, through the gift of our savior.
Christ died for me. I’m didn’t earn it. I can’t pay for it. I don’t deserve it, but there he is, before the father, giving my character reference.
Amen
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Dealing with conflict
I saw an interesting quote today that said “War never solved anything, Except Slavery, Fascism, and communism.” Think about that for a minute. Many people try to avoid conflict at all costs. They don’t like it. Its scares them or makes them ill. I think that at times and for the right reasons, conflict is necessary.
What if there had been no Civil War? Would we still have slavery? Someone, or many people for that matter, stood up for what was right. Of course, if you study history then you will know that both sides in the civil war were certain that they were right. Both sides were certain that God Almighty was on their side and they fought accordingly. It’s a fascinating study. The point is that without the willingness to face conflict and seek resolution then I believe our very spirits would atrophy. Growth, both personally and communally doesn’t occur by apathy.
Sometimes though, an intransigent attitude or position will only deepen what could otherwise be an amicable solution to disagreement. Especially in marriage it’s important to seek common ground when conflict arises. Avoidance and indifference to growth through the process can only deepen the conflict until it reaches a point of, in the case of marriage, what is usually divorce.
In twenty four years of marriage before I lost her, my wife and I never once went to bed mad at each other. Sure we had disagreements. Sure we didn’t always agree, but we never let it fester. We faced it, we resolved it. We loved each other deeper and deeper every day.
I had a poor relationship with my father. There, I said it. We didn’t see eye to eye on many things. I left home at an early age. I could do better on my own than under his roof. We were polite to each other. I tried to get my children to spend time with him as often as I could, children need a grandfather, but we never resolved our conflict. When he passed away I gave the eulogy at his service. It was only then that I finally understood what I wouldn’t see in all those years. My father was a good man. It was the alcohol that did all those things. He was a good man and I missed that chance to have a meaningful great relationship with him. That opportunity was there the whole time and I think he tried many times to reconcile but I had started down the same path of alcohol abuse as he and I think I blamed him. I blew it and didn’t face the conflict and have had to deal with that in my life.
I think that the best way to face a conflict is to first examine my own life. This is best done thru prayer. What are my motives, my goals, my agenda. Seeking to follow MATTHEW 7:5 and, to paraphrase, ‘Get the log out of my own eye so I can more clearly see to get the speck out of my brother’s eye,” can only make the resolution of any conflict beneficial to all.
What if there had been no Civil War? Would we still have slavery? Someone, or many people for that matter, stood up for what was right. Of course, if you study history then you will know that both sides in the civil war were certain that they were right. Both sides were certain that God Almighty was on their side and they fought accordingly. It’s a fascinating study. The point is that without the willingness to face conflict and seek resolution then I believe our very spirits would atrophy. Growth, both personally and communally doesn’t occur by apathy.
Sometimes though, an intransigent attitude or position will only deepen what could otherwise be an amicable solution to disagreement. Especially in marriage it’s important to seek common ground when conflict arises. Avoidance and indifference to growth through the process can only deepen the conflict until it reaches a point of, in the case of marriage, what is usually divorce.
In twenty four years of marriage before I lost her, my wife and I never once went to bed mad at each other. Sure we had disagreements. Sure we didn’t always agree, but we never let it fester. We faced it, we resolved it. We loved each other deeper and deeper every day.
I had a poor relationship with my father. There, I said it. We didn’t see eye to eye on many things. I left home at an early age. I could do better on my own than under his roof. We were polite to each other. I tried to get my children to spend time with him as often as I could, children need a grandfather, but we never resolved our conflict. When he passed away I gave the eulogy at his service. It was only then that I finally understood what I wouldn’t see in all those years. My father was a good man. It was the alcohol that did all those things. He was a good man and I missed that chance to have a meaningful great relationship with him. That opportunity was there the whole time and I think he tried many times to reconcile but I had started down the same path of alcohol abuse as he and I think I blamed him. I blew it and didn’t face the conflict and have had to deal with that in my life.
I think that the best way to face a conflict is to first examine my own life. This is best done thru prayer. What are my motives, my goals, my agenda. Seeking to follow MATTHEW 7:5 and, to paraphrase, ‘Get the log out of my own eye so I can more clearly see to get the speck out of my brother’s eye,” can only make the resolution of any conflict beneficial to all.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
I have a very good friend who, by choice, lives a very conservative, simple, life style. He and his wife choose to live in a rural area, in the woods, without many close neighbors.
They are both professional people and earn a good living. They just made a choice to do the things that bring them joy and less stress in their lives.
They grow a big garden each year and can, freeze and otherwise preserve much food. They hunt for elk and venison and use that as their main meat source. They don’t have television, choosing instead to read good literature, and play games and have actual conversations with each other and their children.
I was at their house visiting one day and one of their children came in and of course, as kids the world over do, wondered what was for dinner. The mom told her, and then she said, “For dessert we are having homemade ice cream”.
I want you, for a moment, to think about the whiniest voice you have ever heard, and imagine the next sentence as being uttered by that voice.
“Homemade ice cream again? Waaaaaaaa, I Hate Homemade Ice Cream.”
Upon hearing that, I thought to myself, Of all the simple, wonderful pleasures in life, homemade ice cream had to be right up near the very top. But if you think about it, if you are rewarded with that kind of thing to often then of course it is going to get old and stale.
When we think about what being blessed feels like, wouldn’t it also stand to reason that if you were totally blessed all the time, would you even be able recognize a blessing?
Sometimes blessing doesn’t mean a reward, or a feel good thing or money or anything like that. Often, a blessing is the very thing you have learned from adversity. It’s an epiphany or insight. It’s having your eyes opened to see that the very thing you stressed or even cried over could have been God making you stronger and isn’t that the best blessing of all?
I am going to add to this post a writing I did when I lost my wife. You will understand when you get to the end. I am a blessed man. I know what it feels like.
Digital cameras really are convenient. I have one of the latest models and it takes awesome pictures. I was thinking though, about how easy it is to delete a memory. We take a picture and then we preview it. If it didn’t turn out just so, we hit the delete button and away it goes. I guess that’s ok at times, but somehow it seems wrong. Yes, I do it as well, but I think about all the pictures I have from years past. We can sit around some times and get the old pictures out and look at them. Each one a memory, such as that picture of Aunt Mary with her underpants showing, or the red eyes of Uncle Dick, were they red from the bad picture, or from the booze. We took pictures with our old film cameras and we took them to the photo place and got them developed. Then we put those pictures in an old shoe box somewhere. Sure they weren’t all professional quality and some of them were stupid or embarrassing, but they were memories and they bring back feelings of that time. Now we all seem to want to be first class photographers so we delete the pictures that don’t fit that mold. How sad to lose that moment in time even if it didn’t turn out postcard perfect. We also take many pictures that are good, but all we do is download them onto our computer and leave them there. It was always enjoyable to get the big pile of old pictures out and have the family sit around on the sofa and pass them back and forth and laugh and remember. I don’t know all the reasons these things bother me so but they do. I am a huge nostalgia type guy and it just bothers me to see memories deleted even if they weren’t perfect.
What if we had a button like that in our lives? Man, I could delete that night in Portland, or that bicycle wreck when I was six. Maybe I would like to erase that fight I had with my son when he was fourteen and I said things that were hurtful and stupid. And I can’t believe I wore those shorts in 1987, my god what was I thinking. I wonder if I could erase that day at the doctors office when they first told Karen she had cancer. Could we skip right over the part with the surgery and the hair loss and the chemo. Could I delete that part when she went to be with the Lord? What of this period now when I ache so bad sometimes and miss her so much. How about that? There are many of those things that weren’t just picture perfect. Some cause us much pain and sorrow, but they are our lives, the things that make us who we are. I don’t think I would erase that stuff if it were possible. The person who is me is the whole person with the good and the bad. So many things that we would just rather not go through or deal with. Some can be very devastating, but to pretend that the bad didn’t happen I think would cheat me out of how incredibly cool the good things make me feel by comparison. Yes, there are sad times, and bad times, as well as the good times and I keep thinking about my life with Karen, and about the words from the old Garth Brooks song.
I could have missed the pain
But I would have had to miss the dance
They are both professional people and earn a good living. They just made a choice to do the things that bring them joy and less stress in their lives.
They grow a big garden each year and can, freeze and otherwise preserve much food. They hunt for elk and venison and use that as their main meat source. They don’t have television, choosing instead to read good literature, and play games and have actual conversations with each other and their children.
I was at their house visiting one day and one of their children came in and of course, as kids the world over do, wondered what was for dinner. The mom told her, and then she said, “For dessert we are having homemade ice cream”.
I want you, for a moment, to think about the whiniest voice you have ever heard, and imagine the next sentence as being uttered by that voice.
“Homemade ice cream again? Waaaaaaaa, I Hate Homemade Ice Cream.”
Upon hearing that, I thought to myself, Of all the simple, wonderful pleasures in life, homemade ice cream had to be right up near the very top. But if you think about it, if you are rewarded with that kind of thing to often then of course it is going to get old and stale.
When we think about what being blessed feels like, wouldn’t it also stand to reason that if you were totally blessed all the time, would you even be able recognize a blessing?
Sometimes blessing doesn’t mean a reward, or a feel good thing or money or anything like that. Often, a blessing is the very thing you have learned from adversity. It’s an epiphany or insight. It’s having your eyes opened to see that the very thing you stressed or even cried over could have been God making you stronger and isn’t that the best blessing of all?
I am going to add to this post a writing I did when I lost my wife. You will understand when you get to the end. I am a blessed man. I know what it feels like.
Digital cameras really are convenient. I have one of the latest models and it takes awesome pictures. I was thinking though, about how easy it is to delete a memory. We take a picture and then we preview it. If it didn’t turn out just so, we hit the delete button and away it goes. I guess that’s ok at times, but somehow it seems wrong. Yes, I do it as well, but I think about all the pictures I have from years past. We can sit around some times and get the old pictures out and look at them. Each one a memory, such as that picture of Aunt Mary with her underpants showing, or the red eyes of Uncle Dick, were they red from the bad picture, or from the booze. We took pictures with our old film cameras and we took them to the photo place and got them developed. Then we put those pictures in an old shoe box somewhere. Sure they weren’t all professional quality and some of them were stupid or embarrassing, but they were memories and they bring back feelings of that time. Now we all seem to want to be first class photographers so we delete the pictures that don’t fit that mold. How sad to lose that moment in time even if it didn’t turn out postcard perfect. We also take many pictures that are good, but all we do is download them onto our computer and leave them there. It was always enjoyable to get the big pile of old pictures out and have the family sit around on the sofa and pass them back and forth and laugh and remember. I don’t know all the reasons these things bother me so but they do. I am a huge nostalgia type guy and it just bothers me to see memories deleted even if they weren’t perfect.
What if we had a button like that in our lives? Man, I could delete that night in Portland, or that bicycle wreck when I was six. Maybe I would like to erase that fight I had with my son when he was fourteen and I said things that were hurtful and stupid. And I can’t believe I wore those shorts in 1987, my god what was I thinking. I wonder if I could erase that day at the doctors office when they first told Karen she had cancer. Could we skip right over the part with the surgery and the hair loss and the chemo. Could I delete that part when she went to be with the Lord? What of this period now when I ache so bad sometimes and miss her so much. How about that? There are many of those things that weren’t just picture perfect. Some cause us much pain and sorrow, but they are our lives, the things that make us who we are. I don’t think I would erase that stuff if it were possible. The person who is me is the whole person with the good and the bad. So many things that we would just rather not go through or deal with. Some can be very devastating, but to pretend that the bad didn’t happen I think would cheat me out of how incredibly cool the good things make me feel by comparison. Yes, there are sad times, and bad times, as well as the good times and I keep thinking about my life with Karen, and about the words from the old Garth Brooks song.
I could have missed the pain
But I would have had to miss the dance
Monday, February 16, 2009
Cookies and story time
In 2000 and 2001 when I was president of the local youth soccer association, I and some other board members set a goal to establish soccer as a sport that would be available at our local high school. Through several meetings and discussions with the local school board and administrators as well as the high school athletic director and principal, we reached agreement and implemented boys and girls soccer for the first time at our high school beginning with the 2001 season.
It really was an unprecedented agreement and we would be only the third school team in North Idaho at our division level. Now 8 years later all 6 North Idaho 3a schools field soccer teams. It has proven a very successful and popular program.
I coached the girls team the first two years and oh my, the things I learned about high school girls. It really was a great experience though. That first year I had 23 girls turn out and only about 4 of them had ever even so much as touched a soccer ball before. We were going to be playing many bigger schools with well established programs. In short, we were going to have a ‘learning’ year.
We lost every game, many by a huge margin. We did tie one game with a team in our division. The girls worked hard and we all learned a lot. Knowing that we were probably going to get schooled in most all our games I had to decide how I was going to handle my response to that, as well as keep the girls positive and upbeat.
I think I talked about this before but I decided that if all I did was teach soccer then I was a failure as a coach. I started to have a time each week when I would talk about life experiences and challenges and how they applied to life and sports. It was just one of those things that happen and somehow become a part of who we were.
One of the first stories I told had to do with all the separate ingredients in cookies, which by themselves aren’t to tasty. But when you put them all together and add some heat, you get this wonderful delicious combination. The analogy was that all these girls were different, they all had their strengths. It was putting them all together and making a team which would make them so much better as a whole than as individual parts. Any way I brought cookies to that story. After that whenever I told a story they wanted cookies. These weekly sessions began to be called, ‘cookies and story time’. The thing was, after the end of our second year, there was a picture of all the senior girls who had stuck it out for two years. They gave it to me and they all signed it and almost everyone of them wrote about cookies and story time. It had made a difference. We did actually win some games the second year too.
We were playing in the district championship game at the end of our second season. The winner would go to the state tournament. At the end of the first half we were getting our butts handed to us. BAD. The girls came off the field at half and it was cold and rainy, and windy and miserable and they were frustrated and mad and cold and picking at each other. I gathered them all together and looked at them and finally said, “Are you having fun?” No, they said. “ Then lets do something about that.
We mixed it all up on the field at the second half. For these senior girls, it was going to be their last game. I didn’t want this to be their last memory. I moved the goal keeper to forward. Moved some of the backs around, just changed it all up. Now, they still went out and played hard, they probably played harder being in a different position. It was still raining and cold and windy and miserable. We still lost, bad, but when the game was over they came off the field and they were laughing and joking, saying “man that was fun.” And that was the goal wasn’t it?
So what does all this have to do with anything? I had a bad day on Valentines. I guess you could say I got my butt kicked. So, maybe at half time when so many of you were giving me comments and encouragement it made the rest of the game turn out ok. There are so many of you with so many perspectives and strengths, you’re just a great bunch of cookies. Thanks
march on
In 2000 and 2001 when I was president of the local youth soccer association, I and some other board members set a goal to establish soccer as a sport that would be available at our local high school. Through several meetings and discussions with the local school board and administrators as well as the high school athletic director and principal, we reached agreement and implemented boys and girls soccer for the first time at our high school beginning with the 2001 season.
It really was an unprecedented agreement and we would be only the third school team in North Idaho at our division level. Now 8 years later all 6 North Idaho 3a schools field soccer teams. It has proven a very successful and popular program.
I coached the girls team the first two years and oh my, the things I learned about high school girls. It really was a great experience though. That first year I had 23 girls turn out and only about 4 of them had ever even so much as touched a soccer ball before. We were going to be playing many bigger schools with well established programs. In short, we were going to have a ‘learning’ year.
We lost every game, many by a huge margin. We did tie one game with a team in our division. The girls worked hard and we all learned a lot. Knowing that we were probably going to get schooled in most all our games I had to decide how I was going to handle my response to that, as well as keep the girls positive and upbeat.
I think I talked about this before but I decided that if all I did was teach soccer then I was a failure as a coach. I started to have a time each week when I would talk about life experiences and challenges and how they applied to life and sports. It was just one of those things that happen and somehow become a part of who we were.
One of the first stories I told had to do with all the separate ingredients in cookies, which by themselves aren’t to tasty. But when you put them all together and add some heat, you get this wonderful delicious combination. The analogy was that all these girls were different, they all had their strengths. It was putting them all together and making a team which would make them so much better as a whole than as individual parts. Any way I brought cookies to that story. After that whenever I told a story they wanted cookies. These weekly sessions began to be called, ‘cookies and story time’. The thing was, after the end of our second year, there was a picture of all the senior girls who had stuck it out for two years. They gave it to me and they all signed it and almost everyone of them wrote about cookies and story time. It had made a difference. We did actually win some games the second year too.
We were playing in the district championship game at the end of our second season. The winner would go to the state tournament. At the end of the first half we were getting our butts handed to us. BAD. The girls came off the field at half and it was cold and rainy, and windy and miserable and they were frustrated and mad and cold and picking at each other. I gathered them all together and looked at them and finally said, “Are you having fun?” No, they said. “ Then lets do something about that.
We mixed it all up on the field at the second half. For these senior girls, it was going to be their last game. I didn’t want this to be their last memory. I moved the goal keeper to forward. Moved some of the backs around, just changed it all up. Now, they still went out and played hard, they probably played harder being in a different position. It was still raining and cold and windy and miserable. We still lost, bad, but when the game was over they came off the field and they were laughing and joking, saying “man that was fun.” And that was the goal wasn’t it?
So what does all this have to do with anything? I had a bad day on Valentines. I guess you could say I got my butt kicked. So, maybe at half time when so many of you were giving me comments and encouragement it made the rest of the game turn out ok. There are so many of you with so many perspectives and strengths, you’re just a great bunch of cookies. Thanks
march on
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Last Call
In my younger, hard drinking days, of my early twenties, my friends and I used to shut the bars down on Friday and Saturday nights. Then we would gather at one house or another and party until daylight. At the bars, when it got close to closing time, the bartender would always yell out “Last Call”. We would always ask each other, ‘how you doing, do you need one more?’
These days on the country radio stations is a song called ‘Last call.’ It kind of takes a different twist on that mantra in the sense that the woman singing it is singing to a man whom she knows is in the bar and its closing time and her phone is ringing. She just knows that he used up all his other options and she is the last one he is calling.
As Christians, we read the promises of God in many places about Christ and his return someday to claim his Kingdom. He will come again, and we hold on to that promise of eternal glory.
Down through the ages, many people and cultures have expressed that they were in the end times. It has recurred many times. People read things into the events of the day and make assumptions that so far, haven’t come to pass. That very thing is happening today. With the world events and wars and rumors of wars, climate anomalies and many other things, a lot of people are certain we are in the last days.
Scripture is very clear in expressing that No One, not even the Son, knows the day or hour, only the Father. We are of course given things to watch for and that’s where many draw their conclusions.
Maybe we are in the end times and the return of Christ is at hand, I don’t know. The point is, are you ready? I know many tea-totlers and puritans are going to take umbrage with the analogy I am using here but we know that the spirit, the helper, is with us. I cant help using the analogies I use and if we are still and listen, I envision the spirit as the bar-tender so to speak. If we be still and listen to the still, small, voice we just may hear that nudging. “How’s your walk?” “How’s your assurance of salvation?” “How’s your family?” “Christ is coming back, are you ok? Are you waiting, like the guy in the song, until you have no other options? When the last trumpet sounds are you ready for LAST CALL?
These days on the country radio stations is a song called ‘Last call.’ It kind of takes a different twist on that mantra in the sense that the woman singing it is singing to a man whom she knows is in the bar and its closing time and her phone is ringing. She just knows that he used up all his other options and she is the last one he is calling.
As Christians, we read the promises of God in many places about Christ and his return someday to claim his Kingdom. He will come again, and we hold on to that promise of eternal glory.
Down through the ages, many people and cultures have expressed that they were in the end times. It has recurred many times. People read things into the events of the day and make assumptions that so far, haven’t come to pass. That very thing is happening today. With the world events and wars and rumors of wars, climate anomalies and many other things, a lot of people are certain we are in the last days.
Scripture is very clear in expressing that No One, not even the Son, knows the day or hour, only the Father. We are of course given things to watch for and that’s where many draw their conclusions.
Maybe we are in the end times and the return of Christ is at hand, I don’t know. The point is, are you ready? I know many tea-totlers and puritans are going to take umbrage with the analogy I am using here but we know that the spirit, the helper, is with us. I cant help using the analogies I use and if we are still and listen, I envision the spirit as the bar-tender so to speak. If we be still and listen to the still, small, voice we just may hear that nudging. “How’s your walk?” “How’s your assurance of salvation?” “How’s your family?” “Christ is coming back, are you ok? Are you waiting, like the guy in the song, until you have no other options? When the last trumpet sounds are you ready for LAST CALL?
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